Bin Late Night Jokes
For your entertainment, here is a sampler of jokes culled from a variety of
late night shows.
"More bad news for the Taliban. Remember how they are promised 72 virgins
when they die? Turns out that it's only one 72-year-old virgin."
-Jay Leno
"The Taliban is on the run and don't know where to go. Pakistan doesn't
want them. Iran doesn't want them. Of course, they'll have no problem
getting into this country."
-David Letterman
"There is now a $25 million dollar bounty on Osama bin Laden. Which marks
the first time in history there has ever been a bounty on a guy's head who
wears Bounty on his head." "
-Jay Leno
"In Afghanistan this week, outnumbered Northern Alliance rebels on
horseback defeated Taliban forces armed with tanks. Experts say the victory
is just like the story of David and Goliath and David's friend, the Stealth
Bomber."
-Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"
"Wayne Newton has officially replaced Bob Hope as the head of the USO
celebrity tour and will depart November 12 to entertain troops overseas.
Army generals say the biggest threat to Newton when he arrives in
Afghanistan is friendly fire. When told Newton would be performing,
American soldiers called it, 'our biggest setback so far'"
-Jimmy Fallon on "Weekend Update"
"Geraldo Rivera is headed for Afghanistan. Boy, you thought those people
hated us before."
-Jay Leno
"President Bush addressed the nation on some of the networks. NBC and CBS
refused to preempt 'Friends' and 'Survivor' for the president. So God
forbid, let's hope the enemy never attacks on a Thursday night."
-Jay Leno
"Did you see President Bush throw out the first pitch of game two of the
World Series? The White House said it was a strike. The Taliban said it
missed and killed several innocent people."
-David Letterman
"President Bush has announced twice last week he does not have anthrax.
Remember the good old days when the only thing we worried about the
president catching was herpes."
-Jay Leno
"There are now rumors that the Taliban has been poisoning the food we have
been dropping. We should make a deal with the people of Afghanistan. We'll
taste your food, you check our mail."
-Jay Leno
"I was reading more about Osama bin Laden today. Turns out he started in
the mailroom."
-David Letterman
Osama Jokes: U-Wanna Bin Laughin!
Fight back humor isn't new. We've always made jokes about our enemies. It
helps us to deal with the real life and death struggles that are taking
place. We saw it 10 years ago during Desert Storm, with jokes like:
Q: What should Saddam get for his air defense system?
A: A refund.
And we see it now with all humorous guns turned toward Afghanistan and
Osama bin Laden. Here's a sampling of some of the funnier ones you'll find
on the Web.
Q: What do Afghanistan and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing, yet.
Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...B-1...
Q: What is the Taliban's national bird?
A: Duck
Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see their Air Force.
Q: What does Osama bin Laden and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!
Q: What's the five-day forecast for Afghanistan?
A: Two days.
Q: Why doesn't the Taliban have Drivers Ed and Sex Ed classes on the same
day?
A: Because the camels can't handle it.
Top 10 Names for U.S. Retaliation
Against Osama bin Laden
10. Operation: Desert Turd
9. Operation: Afghani-Slam Fest 2001
8. Operation: Tali-Bomb
7. Operation: I-C-B-Enema
6. Operation: The Shiite Hits The Fan
5. Operation: Yo Mama Bin Laden
4. Operation: F.U.B.A.R.
3. Operation: ...And The Camel You Rode In On.
2. Operation: Red, White & Ka-blewey!
1. Operation: Osama Bend-Over
Thanks to Eileen and Barb
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