PADMÉ TO DO COMMERCIALS 

Padmé MaxiPad Ad ( click to enlarge )

Star Wars ties break new ground as Padmé signs with Always.  

There is a long history of "tie-ins" to the Star Wars franchise.  Fast food franchises, soda pop companies, toy manufactures and others usually clamor to put the Star Wars name on their products. However, it is reported the dark and mature nature of the new installment of the story has driven many of these companies away.

Always, a manufacturer of feminine hygiene products, stepped into this void by signing the new Star Wars character Senator Padmé Naberrie, also known as Queen Amidala,  to front for Maxipads.  Our reporter got the story.

Reporter : "You are a Senator, a former Apprentice Legislator,  and former Naboo Queen.  So why do commercials?"

Padmé : "After the Trade Federation siege of Naboo and The Battle of Naboo with the Gungans, I am a bit strapped for cash.  You should see the bill Jedi
Knights sent me for their services."

Reporter : "It had nothing to do with pressure from George Lucas?+

Padmé : "No comment."

Reporter : "So why Always?  Is than not a bit undignified for a Queen?"

Padmé : "And running around at a boobie bobling pace, in a midriff top, in spray on pants, with a big phallic gun is not? 

Reporter : "You have a point."

Padmé : "Sometimes the crew really riled me. At times I wished that stupid prop gun worked.  If it did, watch out.  The next guy who says, "Hey, Padmé come over to my pad, and we'll launch my rocket" will be Wookiee waste."

Reporter : "You seem a bit irate."

Padmé : "Listen,  have you seen the script for the next episode?  I am to marry Skywalker.  Figure those monogram jokes, P.M.S., Pad Mé Skywalker.  If Lucas goes with that, he will not be in for a Lightday. What a douche bag."

George Lucas : "Hey Padmé, I spoke to Massengill about another tie in"

< sound of a scream and a light saber >

Padmé : "Do you think we can get J. Michael Straczynski or Steven Spielberg for Episode III?"

Menstrual Humor, feminine care parody, Incontinence Symptom, joke

Published on: May 2, 2002
Links Updated : July 03, 2002  

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