WHERE IS KOSH?  JUNE 2002

	sex
VORLON AMBASSADOR KOSH	lie

The beloved Vorlon and First One, Kosh, was spotted this month filling in at PBS's children's show, Sesame Street.

The Galactic Inquizitor's Entertainment reporter interviewed one of the show's Producer's to get the scoop on the Vorlon Ambassador's new role.

Reporter : "How did it come about that Kosh became part of one of the most highly regarded children's shows of all time?"

Producer : " Well, it's a long story. As you may have heard, we have had some trying times here on Sesame Street.  It almost seemed as if someone was out to cause trouble for us."

Reporter : "You mean the recent scandals?"

Producer : "That's it.  Someone has been trashing our name and our characters.  Everyone was outed; ^1-5  we were even accused of dumbing the show down for Ritalin kids and dopers; Bert and Ernie were arrested in Holland, and that Big Bird went postal." ^{6, 7, 10-11}

"The clincher was the 'Bert Is Evil Site' and the Osama Bin Laden allegations." ^{9, 13-23}

Reporter : "What happened?"

babylon 5
	b5
Bert Crop Circles? ( click to enlarge )	b5lr
Crusade
	DAB
Mister Morden	ESS
	CC
His Neighborhood	jms

Producer : " Well, Bert has been accused of everything lately, the JFK assassination, crop formations, .... you name it. ^9,12  However, after 9/11 some pictures of Bert appeared on Al Qaeda posters with Osama Bin Laden and people assumed he was a terrorist Muppet."

Reporter : "What does this have to do with Kosh."

Producer : "Well, we started loosing viewers.  When we checked, we found they were going to the show by the guy who replaced Mr. Rogers, Mister Morden."

Reporter : "And?"

Producer : "Mr. Morden is a known Shadow associate.  We determined he was trying to undermine the youth of Earth in preparation for a future Shadow take over.  We suspect he and his Shadow Associates were behind the smear campaign against us and our Sesame Street characters."

Reporter : "What can Kosh do?"

Producer : "To fight First Ones you need First Ones. The word is out that Vorlons were the remedy for the Lords of Chaos and Kosh is one heck of a Vorlon.  Unlike the other Vorlons he does have some people skills."

Reporter : "So how is it going?"

Producer : "Fine, the Muppets get along with him and empathize with him.  They consider him a puppet too."

Reporter : "He does move like one."

Producer : "Elmo Wanted Lyta Alexander.  Those red heads stick together you know, but we were not sure a super telepath was the answer. She's described as the Vorlon's ultimate solution.  We try not to bomb here at PBS."

Reporter : "So, just the two choices?"

	pro
( click to enlarge )	sex

Producer : "Well, no.  Kermit wanted G'Kar.  It was a amphibian / reptile thing.  G'Kar had a lot to add to the show, but he's basically a philosopher these days.  We are also a non-smoking show ."

Reporter : "You had problems in the past?"

Producer : "No, G'Kar is great.  There is the FCC policy, the PBS policy, our PC policy, and that nasty smoke burn incident in the past.  It was heart felt.

Reporter : "I'm sure it was emotional for kids."

Producer : "Uh, I meant the felt burn over his heart.  Ever tried to re-skin an amphibian?  It's not pretty."

Reporter : "So Kosh solved all you problems?"

Producer : "There was that one problem with Bert."

Reporter : "So Bert is evil?"

Producer : "Well, not exactly.  He did his 'Doin' The Pigeon' dance with his pet pigeon and the pigeon did it on Kosh."

Reporter : "Oooooo ...."

sex	lies
	B5
( click to enlarge )	JMS

Producer : "Ya, Kosh turned him to stone.  We are trying to convince him to turn him back, but it is not going well."

Voice Over : This story was brought to you by the letter "V" as in Vorlon and the number "One" as in "First One."

Snuffy

 

gay	lez
	wow
Kosh arrives ( click to enlarge )	fly

Snuffy

Zoie

Big Bird

The Count

Zoie

Big Bird

The Count

Fozzy Bear

Miss Piggy

Gonzo

Published on: June 15, 2002
Links Updated on : July 8, 2002

Kosh

Lyta

Ambassador
G'Kar

Mr. Morden

Elmo
With Lyta

Kermit

Bert And Ernie

Bert Doing
"The Pigeon"

Bert And
Bin Laden ?

Evidence Of
Evil Bert ?