PSI CORPS ON TED WILLIAMShe Corps

Psi Corps, Telepath War

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Ted Williams	B4
Psi Cop Alfred Bester, P12	B5

Psi Corps has been reluctant to answer questions on them and the death of USA baseball legend, Ted Williams.

Theodore Samuel Williams, also known as "The Kid,"  "The Thumper," and "The Splendid Splinter," died  Friday, July 5th at eighty three years old in Crystal River Florida.

Many see him as baseball's greatest hitter and a war hero for his service as a fighter pilot in World War II and Korea.  In the 1940s, Ted lead the league in "runs batted in" three times,  lead the league in  batting four times, and lead the league in home runs four times.  No hitter has had a 400 batting average since.  He was elected to Hall of Fame in 1966.

These days he is known for the family squabble over his body. Notorious son, John Henry Williams, is accused of freezing his body for DNA sales.  The step sister claims Ted wanted to be cremated.  Now there are rumors that the Psi Corps is lurking in the Shadows.

We sent our Health And Science reporter to check it how a cool guy just became colder.

Reporter : "Mr. Bester, the rumor is that Psi Corps has a hand in this.  Is that true?"

Mr. Bester : "We have a glove in everything, but this is 2002, I'm surprised you even know of Psi Corps.  "

Reporter : "We have our ways."

Mr. Bester : " Yes, We will have to talk about that."

Reporter : "So why are you here, and what is the deal with Ted Williams."

Mr. Bester : "I had to check on my company."

Reporter : "The cryogenic company, Alcor, is your company?"

Mr. Bester : "Swimming on the shallow end of the gene pool are we?  Yes, "Alcor" is short for "AlCorps."  It's a bit of a witticism on "Alfred Bester of Psi Corps.  I put the 'corpse' in Psi Corps."

Reporter : "So you are behind this !"

Mr. Bester : "No, Ted William's son, John Henry Williams, sort of wandered into our operation.  We want him  out of here.  That guy is Shadow material."

Reporter : "What about his half-sister Claudia, and the rest of the family?  I hear they want a Christian burial."

Reporter : "Is Claudia Christian?  Only The Great Maker knows; I'm not sure. I have heard the half sister Barbara Joyce Ferrell wants him unfrozen and cremated.  He could be special guest at the Fire And Ice Ball."

Reporter : "That's cold."

Bester : "Four hundred degrees below cold, to be exact. No batter has ever had a frozen shoulder quite like this before."

Reporter : "So this is not your doing?"

Mr. Bester : "No, this is a mundane mess.  I did a little Winters canning a while back, but that is a Talia thing."

Reporter : "You mean ' Italian' ?"

Mr. Bester : "No, it was definitely, 'Talia'.  We will leave this to Bureau 13.  Excuse me; my time stabilizer is telling me I have to return.  Someone ran out of plastic wrap for Garibaldi."

To follow up on this story, our reporter interviewed several individuals expressing interest in Ted Williams' frozen body. 

Andreas Katsulus	B3
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G'Kar	B5
Narn Homeworld	xx

Reporter : "So Ambassador G'Kar, why are you interested in Ted Williams?"

G'Kar : "It is simple; The Narn Bat Squad needs a great hitter.  Years ago we went to the League Of Non-Aligned Worlds and got first dibs on this guy.  With his DNA, we could create legions of bat swinging Narns.  Now this twit, John Henry, wants to renegotiate the terms on Ted Williams' DNA."

Reporter : "So what now?"

G'Kar : "The Narns are tired of being abused.  We are sending some members of 'The Narn Bat Squad' to negotiate in person with Johnny boy."

We also contacted The Soul Hunters' representative.

The West Wing	B1
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Soul Hunter	E3
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet	F8

Reporter : "So what is you interest in Ted Williams?"

Soul Hunter : "John Henry Williams contacted us to and sold us his soul." 

Reporter : "His Soul?

Soul Hunter : "Yes, it was only after I came here that we realized he was not one of the type of minds we covet for our collections."

Reporter : "You know you look like Martin Sheen?"

Soul Hunter : "Uh .... no ... I must go ........ "

We also contacted Emperor Cartagia.

Centauri Home World	xx
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Cartagia	B2
Wortham Krimmer	B5

Reporter : "So what is your interest in Ted Williams' body?"

Cartagia : "Oh, I do not want the body.  I just want the head for my Shadow Cabinet collection."

Reporter : "I heard that Alcor stores it separately as part of the process but ... "

Cartagia : "John Henry says it is okay."

Reporter : "What a surprise."

Lastly, we contacted Centauri Ambassador Londo Mollari.

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Londo Mollari	B4
Adira's lover	E3

Reporter : "John Henry Williams offered the Narns the DNA, the Soul Hunters his soul, and Cartiagia his head, what did he offer you Londo?"

Londo : "As you humans say, 'I got the shaft.'  A while back, in a total misunderstanding, mind you, I angered a Technomage. Afterwards, a holodemon appeared in my computer.  Besides a Spoo ranch, I got a stock in two of John Henry's sports companies, Hitter Inc. and Green Diamond Sports Inc."

Reporter : "So you did rather well."

Londo : "No !  He went bankrupt and took me with him!"

It appears no one associated with this story seems to have faired well.  As the Judge decides whether to rule on daughter Bobby Jo's motion to thaw and cremate Ted Williams, we will keep you informed. 

Boston Red Sox, ... Boston Red Socks, ...

Published on: July 12, 2002
Updated on : Jan. 25, 2003

baseball player Number 9,.... Boston Red Sox player Number Nine...., 400 hitter ...

Note :
- This piece is not intended to detract from the accomplishments of Ted Williams or his
   memory.
- Thanks to Frieda for the Psi Corps cryo. images and her editing. ... cryogenics, ... freeze, ...thaw, ... tedcicle, ... ice, ... iced, ..... frozen, ... tedciccle, ... frozen head, ... decapitate, ... on ice, ... liquid nitrogen, ... Ted Williams pop cicle, ... frozen treat, ... icicle, ...

RELATED ARTICLES FROM THE GALAXY

•Alcor Life Extension Foundation
•Ted Williams - Official Site
•ESPN Classic : Remembering a Legend (Ted Williams)
•Baseball Hall Of Fames Statistics on Ted
•Baseball Reference.com (Ted Williams)
•The Legacy of Ted Williams, Safe Everywhere but Home
•Washington Times : Williams Sought Cremation In Will
•Boston Globe : Williams Daughter: Body Being Frozen
•AJC : Family Fight Over Ted's Body Headed For Court
•Salon.com : The Strange History Of Ted Williams And His Son
•Boston Herald : No. 9's Son Likely To Quit Baseball Team: Focus On Keeping Dad Frozen
•ABC: Weird Science

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Make Your Own Psi Corps Cryo Computer Mouse

JMS

Project Cryo Make your computer mouse into a Psi Corps cryogenic chamber complete with blip telepath ! Thanks to Miga for the information

 

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Bester

Psi Corps
Cryogenics

B5
Cryo tubes

Alcor

Cryo
foam cooler

Ted Williams