GALEN HELD BY AIRPORT SECURITY 

Crusade Technomage Galen was held by airport security this month as has the new security changes at US airports went into effect.

This all came on the heels of Congress nationalizing the airport security inspectors and making them all US Government employees in a hope of improved performance.

Our reporter was able to interview the security personnel at the airport.

Inspector Billy Bob Ray: "Ya, we got the guy.  Ya can't fool us. I'm a former Teamster and now a government employee.  I was catching a nap at my console, when this guy said, 'Excuse me, do you know where Gate 10 is ?'"

"Immediately, I recognized him as an alien, unplugged my Nintendo, and plugged in my scanner"

What tipped you off?

Inspector Billy Bob Ray: "First he said 'Excuse me, ..' no New Yorker does that !  Second, he had this weird foreign accent and didn't spoke good."

Voice in background : "That's English you bloody moron ! I'm from England you colonial Neanderthal." 

Inspector Billy Bob Ray: "See, he's a prissy little guy usin' those big foreign words.  I think he's French and a little light in the loafers. Ya know dress and all."

Voice in background : "That's a cape for my costume you hebetudinous mental midget !"

Inspector Billy Bob Ray: "Ya know we searched pretty boy and found bomb type thingies under his dress."

Voice in background : "Those are prostheses for my costume, 'costume' not 'dress' you bloody troglodyte !  I was at a sci-fi con!  I am an actor!"

Inspector Billy Bob Ray: "Activist and dynamite, ya right!  detonators more like it! This is a real dummie ; didn't even try to hide them in his shoe"

So what happened with your investigation.

Inspector Billy Bob Ray: "Still doin' it.  He said the TNT exec. behind him would vouch for him.  Wrong!  The guy said he'd never seen him.  Denied all knowledge of any 'Crusade' show.' "

What's next?

Inspector Billy Bob Ray: "Body cavity search ....."

Voice in background : "Yahowwwwwwwww........ !!!!!! "

Footnote : Billy Bob Ray says he now has something called a holodemon in his Donkey Kong.

Published on: March 12, 2002
Links Updated : July 11, 2002

Galen