McFlarn - We Love To See You Steam

babylon 5, b5, b 5, Mc donalds, mcdonalds

Author : Kailenn

babylon 5, b5, b 5, Mc donalds, mcdonalds

/Satai/ Neroon simply could not believe his eyes. Of course, as a Minbari of the warrior caste, he'd come to rely on believing his senses--they were the only thing one could trust in this universe full of religious mumbo-jumbo and Human / Anla'shok / and those wretched Shadows screeching all about the place. Thus, he could not contest it.  There it was, plain as day outside the window. McFlarn. *What in Valen's name is "McFlarn?!"*  The Minbari warrior wondered to himself.  He didn't have long to reflect on that question, because, coming the other way down the hall, were Delenn and that Human, Sheridan. So Neroon accosted them, which wasn't a difficult thing to do, seeing as how they were the only three beings in the immediate area, and pointed out the window with enough force to hyperextend his elbow.  "What in Valen's name is THAT?!"  he hissed. "McFlarn,"  Sheridan answered, as though it were really the most obvious thing in the Universe.  Which it was. Neroon spent the next three seconds fighting a climactic battle with his patience.  It won, but only barely.  "What is McFlarn?"  he growled, sounding not unlike a huge, deadly, bony, leather-clad psychotic jungle cat.  He noticed, much to his confusion, that Sheridan appeared to be carrying a paperboard box that reeked of over-processed foodstuffs, and wearing an odd pointy hat. The Human in question grinned cheekily.  Delenn, for her part, looked properly embarrassed. "It is." she started.  Then she stopped, and started to say something else.  Stopped again, and started to say something completely different.  Eventually, she stopped starting to say things and said, "Valen would have appreciated the humour of it." "'HUMOUR?!'"  Neroon repeated, his voice echoing about the corridor.  Then he took a deep breath.  Warrior caste Minbari are not accustomed to fighting battles with themselves, but he was now in a right bloody fray over the concept of lowering his own blood pressure.  He won.  Thus his face stopped being that interesting red colour and he glared at Sheridan and Delenn.  "There is nothing humourous about this!"  Sheridan stopped himself scant nanoseconds from observing that, since Neroon *had* no sense of humour, that was pretty much to be expected. Meanwhile, Neroon fixed Delenn with a stare that would have made a fish blink.  "I asked you a question," he said in his best threatening tone,  the one that left Grey Council members weeping like small children.  The tone in question didn't faze Delenn in the slightest, though.  In fact, instead of seeming on the verge of terrified sobs, she seemed only just this side of bursting out laughing.  Mad.  Utterly, utterly mad. "It is. a purveyor of food,"  she said, only a small smile betraying the amusement she felt. "Food." "Yes.  You eat it." "I know what one does with food, thank you very much!  But that cannot be food!"  He now pointed equally as forcefully at Sheridan's paperboard box. "That's actually still up for debate,"  Sheridan agreed, in an I-Know-More-Than-You-Do tone heretofore only achievable by the most terse of Vorlons. Neroon glared daggers at the building outside.  "It must be removed." "It cannot be removed, it has been completely built and is now in operation,"  Delenn objected. "Remove it!" "But." "NOW!  These Human atrocities cannot be tolerated!" A calm voice made itself heard behind Neroon. "That cannot be done, /Satai/, it is too advantageous to leave it, and too troublesome to remove it." Neroon stiffened.  He did not care who it was who stood behind him right now.  If it were Valen himself telling him this, the speaker had ten seconds to leave before he found himself pounded into the floor.  But before he could even pull his / denn'bok / from his pocket, Sheridan, grinning a truly evil grin, observed: "Besides, the Burger Flarn across the way is selling little model ships."  He reached into the paperboard box and retrieved a small model of a Minbari warship.  The random Minbari standing behind Sheridan looked at it. Delenn smiled as though such an observation were cute. "Burger.Flarn?"  Neroon echoed. "And the Flarn Castle,"  Sheridan pointed out helpfully, indicating the turreted building next to the McFlarn's tacky golden arches.  "Not to mention the Flarnfather's Pizza that's going up, the Flarnway down in Tuzanor, the Flarn Hut, the Flarn Bell, and the Happy Flarn." "'Happy Flarn?'"  Delenn echoed, turning to look at Sheridan as though he were some ghastly apparition that had just risen from the floor tiles, grabbed some complete stranger, and pulled the poor schlub's brain out through his nostrils. "Chinese,"  Sheridan clarified simply, as the random Minbari plucked the tiny model ship from the Human's hand and held it up to the light, peering at it.  Delenn saw the evil grin on Sheridan's face and realization dawned. Neroon put his gloved fists on his hips in a painfully Human gesture of impatience.  "There, you see what this Human influence has done?" he demanded. Delenn gestured helplessly.  "How was I to know?" Sheridan, meanwhile, nattered on happily to anyone who might be listening.  "Oh, and let's not forget the Flarn Hut, Flarndy's, Flardee's and Flarby's."  He deftly retrieved his model warship. "Flar.Flar-who?"  Said the random Minbari standing behind Neroon. "Orange Flarnius,"  Sheridan continued.  "Dairy Flarn." "These Humans will be the death of the entire Galaxy!"  Neroon shouted, pointing at Sheridan.  He then tuned and left in a swirling of black robes.  There was a pause as the four beings in the corridor watched him storm away.  Then Sheridan spoke again: "And I thought the Centauri's reaction to McSpoo was bad." END!

babylon 5, b5, b 5, Mc donalds, mcdonalds

In Valen's Way (because I'm always in *somebody's* way), /Anla'shok/ Kailenn