...

B5 Insanity

How To Keep A Healthy Level  Of Insanity On The Babylon 5 Station : 
                  
1) Sit in your fighter in the Cobra bay with goggles on and point a hair dryer at head to make you hair flow. See if the technicians get very confused. 
                  
2) Page yourself over the BabCom and do not disguise your voice. 
                  
3) Insist that your email address is: Valen@Tunzanor.gov or GQuan@Narn.gov 
                  
4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want flarn with that. 
                  
5) At Staff meetings encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized Vorlon chair dancing. 
                  
6) Put a note on your garbage recycling slot and label it "IN." 
                  
7) Develop an unnatural fear of links. 
                  
8) Put non-alcoholic Brivai in the casino for 3 weeks. Once Londo has gotten over withdrawals, switch to "fortified" Brivai. 
                  
9) In the memo field of all your quartermaster requests, write 'for sexual favors.' 
                  
10) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what the TEEPs tell me you think." 
                  
11) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecies of Valen, G'Quan, and Boggi." 
                  
12) Adjust the tint on your CNC monitor so that the brightness level lights up all CNC area. Insist to others that you like it that way. 
                  

13) Don't use any punctuation one week, and then next place a "N" or "G" followed an apostrophe before each word and claim it is Narn.

                  
14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk, especially in the low gravity areas.
                  
15) Ask aliens what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. 
                  
16) Call the Fresh Air Restaurant and specify that your Starfury  will pick up your "to go" order at the "fly through" window.

17) Sing along at to Narn opera. 
                  
18) Go to a Minbari poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 
                  
19) Find out what your boss eats and buy exactly the same meal.  Eat it one day after your boss does. ( This is especially effective if your boss is of the different species. ) 
                  
20) Send e-mail to the rest of the station to tell them what you're doing. ( For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the methane toilet on Brown 3 , in Stall #3.") 
                  

21) Put Nakaleen Feeder netting around your cubicle.  Then send out several notices during the day assuring that, "There are no problems with dangerous alien life forms on B5." 
                  
22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their Zocalo blow-out party because you're not in the mood.
                  
23) Call on the Gold Channel and ask if The Gold Channel is for emergencies. 
                  
24) Call the security and don't say anything. 
                  
25) Have your coworkers address you by your Mutai name," Rock Hard." 
                  

26) When your identicard comes out of the security slot, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!" 
                  

27) When leaving the diplomatic Blue Sector, start running towards the Zocalo , yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!" 
                  

28) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the voices in your head that do."  This works best in the presence of Telepaths. 
                  
29) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go and send you to Down Below." 
                  

30) Every time you see a Vorlon, yell "Honey, your mother is here!" 
                  
                

 

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity.... 
                  
31) Send this e-mail to everyone on your BabCom, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff